Dandelions

“Out dream yourself”

—unknown

Dandelions with their yellow petals are said to symbolize the sun shining therefore, referring to growth in your life. They are also said to symbolize hope, happiness, healing, and love. Some people often believe them to be a symbol of innocence and playfulness.

Dandelions make the only flower representing three celestial bodies during different phases of its life cycle – sun, moon, stars. The yellow flower of the plant resembles the sun, the dispersing seeds of the plant resemble stars, and the puff ball of dandelion plant resembles the moon.

The wishing flower— I used to call it and actually still do, were scattered about the front lawn of the large elementary school and a few underneath the large hand-carved, painted in the shade “blue-ribbon”, wood crafted sign with the name spanning across in gilded letters . No longer able to fit under it due to a major growth spurt, my little one posed to the side, with the brightest, proudest smile that spanned west to east of his cheeks and under his feet were an array of those scattered dandelions in all of their phases.

The big day had finally arrived. Kindergarten orientation for my littlest love—the next chapter in his academic career.

A new milestone.

I let go of his small hand, kissed those soft cheeks, and the school aide led him through the double doors. I only knew 1/2 of what he was about to experience— but from the other side of the desk. At that moment I realized I didn’t know what I was going to experience now being on that other side of the desk. It would be 45 of the longest most exhilarating and suspenseful minutes of my life. It would actually feel similar to labor and child birth— well kinda— but way longer…

My mind and my heart raced and led me back to the day my older one embarked on his own elementary school journey and his own kindergarten orientation.

I was such a rookie then — even more than him.

For years I was— like I said— on the other side of the desk. Children (not mine) came to me at 5 years old and then one day, boom, the script was flipped, I had a baby, then another one, and they came to me milliseconds new. They were my blank canvases. My masterpieces to create. My greatest achievements. I would be commissioned to take on the most rewarding and at times challenging task of a lifetime. They are my renaissance.

Up until that moment, before becoming a mommy, I was the permission slip collector. Now I’m the permission slip signer and the in case of emergency. I’m the homework helper not assigner. I am now the parent in the parent teacher conference. It’s my child in someone else’s classroom and day after day, year after year, it is my role to prepare them for everything school can’t teach them— and the kitchen sink. So, when they walk through any double doors they are ready for the lessons they will learn and the problems they will face and solve, achievements, successes and setbacks— hustles and hurtles, as their mommy first and foremost.

Waiting for my little one on the other side of those double doors, staring into the scattered dandelions I over heard another mother say, “doesn’t it go fast ? Hold onto the moments they don’t last forever. Look they are already in kindergarten next they will be out of the house.” I cringed. Her words were kinda cringy. In my head I spoke to her and said this (to myself) but wish I could to her. “No! They don’t go fast. Yes! Sometimes they do but sometimes they are an eternity. Not just for me but for my children, too. Somedays, tough days, feel like they lasted too long. When they woke up on the wrong side of the bed after not sleeping well at all. After a toddler-sized fight with a best friend or all the missed traditional play dates because of COVID. Pandemic parenting, mountains to climb and papercuts to heal. And it actually feels like it did take 5 years to get to my littlest one kindergarten orientation. And almost a decade of Mommyhood in general. It’s not always a blink of an eye. Every milestone, memory, meltdown, heart melting moment through the years filled my days and happened through the years and will continue to. I savor most of them, my children make my world go ‘round and they have taught me to out dream myself. There are other times, my cheeks might have faint stains with the tracks of my tears, yet I am right where I am supposed to be at the right time, so are they. I can feel it. But! Are my children growing up faster than I did? Yes! Especially these days…”

But I didn’t say any of that— not to her at least. But I wish I did. I wish I could normalize these people who think I have to love everything because if I don’t I’m ungrateful. When actually I’m extraordinarily grateful for all of it. ALL OF IT! And even though I don’t love everything I absolutely love my children— unapologetically and unconditionally. But life doesn’t happen in a blink of an eye. It has phases and with each phase a milestone appears and a memory is created and a moment is formed.

Last night after walking around most of the day on cloud nine, finally exhausted from the excitement, my little one asked me for a new bedtime story. He wanted to read the book his brother proudly bought him from the book fair this week at that same elementary school they will both— finally — go to together next year. How unbelievable special— I can hardly wait…

The Good Egg and The Talent Show by: Jory John and Pete Oswald. It’s his first “easy reader”. It’s the introduction to books he will eventually read on his own and maybe one day to me.

The story of The Good Egg and The Talent Show: The talent show is today and the Good Egg is so excited. There’s just one problem. He doesn’t have an act! When the talent show starts, he accepts that he’ll just be an audience member. But when his friends need help on stage, the Good Egg steps up to helps each and everyone with his own talents he didn’t know he had and discovers that being yourself and kindness, deserve a standing ovation, too. How profound — it is written in simplistic words he will eventually learn in a snap by sight and sound, but the message and meaning are much deeper.

I let that book sink in for both of us as I kissed those cheeks one last time for the day. He said it was his new favorite, and I gave him smile which spanned west to east across my cheeks and whispered — “mine, too.”

More than ever, I felt good about his dreams that night and mine, too.

It is something I learned about being a mommy, which my children taught me— “out dream yourself”. Be the best version of yourself, the good egg, even on the toughest days and you might end up surprising yourself in the end with a personal standing ovation. This is the best lesson I have learned from being on the other side of that desk.

Oh and…

Embrace your inner dandelions. There are many phases to life and through the evolutions new somethings are always scattered about thought out our vast lifetime just waiting to be seen, but like everything worth something, life takes its time. And like dandelions my children are my sun, moon and stars…