Pixie Dust

“The only thing predictable about life is the unpredictability.”

— Remi from Ratatouille

We landed from never, Neverland a few days ago. And I can still feel the electricity of being somewhere magical and make believe running through my body. And as I rubbed my Mr.Sandman out of my eyes yesterday morning the realization that it wasn’t all a dream was still left lingering.

I have been to Disney World 3 times in my life (my third time would be my most recent and maybe most memorable) and on the first day there I was amazed how it was possible that nothing has changed in 30 years.

I guess I just gave away my age…

Let me digress before I reminisce…

Before we left, 24 hours before we took flight into my parents epic vacation they planned for our family with no detail over looked— VIP— the works!— my thoughts raced through my mind: what will I see ( maybe again?), feel (maybe again?) and remember about a place that has been tattooing magical memories on people for 50 years. Has everything changed or is it still the one place that can miraculously get away with staying almost the same and people will still come back year after year and still fall head over heels in awe with its mystique...

I also had this thought—

The last time I was at Disney I was a kid myself. Around the ages of my sons— this time I’m going back a mommy. Would I feel the same way this time? Is it possible to believe in the make-believe the same way again— maybe better? Also I was used to having someone hold my hand when we entered a ride set out to thrill, scare or sweep you off your feet. This time I was going to be that hand to hold to my children. But what if I still needed a hand to hold, too?

Time.

Memories.

Anticipation.

They give you whiplash the way the Rock ‘N’ Roller coaster does. Life can twist you upside down 3 times in 90 seconds and when you arrive on the other side of it you feel— EVERYTHING.

I remember when I had my older son and the instant love I had for him was so profound it froze me in my every being. I struggled with understanding how people have more than one child ? How do you fall in love again with someone else, the same way? How does your heart grow a whole new chamber for this whole new person? How do you mommy another baby with all of you all over again? And when my younger son was born— it all made sense… Miraculously you just do. Magically I just did.

Disney World is like Mommyhood.

Mommyhood is like Disney World.

Each day we spent in our fairytale vacation I was met with a crossroads of personal fear and knowing I can do hard things. I was book-ended by my parents on one side which reminded me of my youth and my OG and sons which reminded me of my present on the other side and in the middle of all of it was me. I had to show my sons that rides and experiences that scare us, thrill us and make us believe in the unbelievable are everything and more. To try something is better than regretting not taking any chance at all.

“The only thing predictable about life is the unpredictability.”

— Remi from Ratatouille

I watched my sons both conquer their fears, do hard things and believe in the unbelievable. They are growing up in a world faster than mine— where from almost birth they knew I was the tooth-fairy , even before they had and lost a tooth — but they let me live out my fantasy of being their tinkerbell— or maybe it’s just for the Robux they will wake up to. But they opened their hearts and minds to all the unbelievable experiences a trip like this offered them.

I watched my hubby enjoy himself and live in the moment. Experience second times as first times with our sons as a father and make unbelievable memories.

I watched my parents enjoy themselves with each adventure and experience personally and as grandparents. The joy of enjoying the joy their family was having making magical memories together.

Each night as we crashed our dizzy head into the hotel bed with exhaustion mixed with exhilaration it was if our pillowcases were covered with that “pixie dust” that filters through the atmosphere. We were infused with something more— magical.

There’s a glisten in my eyes as I write about what it felt like when standing in front of my children, their grandparents and my hubby the same iconic characters I met 30 years ago. I, too, felt everyone’s youth past and present return in Minnie and Mickey Mouse’s presence. They are figuratively and literally larger than life— and in that moment you realize why the whole experience hasn’t aged at all. It’s organic Botox for the soul.

And at 41 years old I completely forgot I was wearing Minnie ears for 12 hours straight.

Being given a trip of a lifetime by my parents for our whole family and getting to experience something like this together that can shape your lifetime is in itself profound and — magical.

Late last night I was scouring over the pictures (all 500 of them) from our epic Disney vacation and reliving all the moments not all seen in the photographs but in my memory. My heart and eyes equally swollen.

It’s funny how we all went together, yet we all have individual take aways from it. Each one of us had a most favorite and maybe even least favorite memory. But regardless we are forever changed. We now have a new and better understanding of what it means to enter a magical kingdom and return with a royal reminder of sometimes the most magical things can be seen and felt with your heart and there is a genuine, ageless belief in the unbelievable…

*this post is dedicated to my mommy and daddy— now GIGI and Papa J to just begin the incredible thankfulness we all want to express for this trip of a lifetime.