School’s Out For The Summer
It’s said life happens when you’re busy making other plans.
I don’t think most of the things that happened this year were exactly what I planned but they happened nevertheless.
Maybe that’s really an homage to mommyhood and not just life.
Like this one time in day camp…
In full disclosure this happened, I mean really happened —
My little one came home with a camp bag full of soaking wet bathing suits, and I had the brilliant idea to leave them outside to dry out in the intense summer sun— #momhack.
As I hung the last one to dry on the fence, stepped inside to admire my ingenuity from the kitchen window above the farm sink, the sun decided at that very moment to played hookie, the sky became greenish-gray and with one humongous crackle of thunder, gumdrop-sized raindrops filled the sky and tumbled down hard and fast onto the bathing suits and further soaked his already wet bathing suits— #momfail
I guess I should have just put them into the dryer when he got home from camp— #actualmomhack which looking back would have been a better plan—
Maybe all I can plan on is the idea of it all and whatever else happens is the actual plan in the end.
The year went fast.
It never snowed— and if it did I assume it melted and I guess I missed it.
Wildfires sabotaged our air quality. The world turned orange. Forced us inside. They suggested we put our masks back on. Regardless it smelt like s’mores and fried curling iron curls for 3 days straight. Between us — I kinda like that smell.
I juggled a million balls in the air— sports equipment included.
I got to actually food shop once a month— not InstaCart but in-person but never alone with too many unnecessary snacks. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the company and the music mix.
I also got a manicure and a professional blow out (sometimes washed my hair in my sink on multiple occasions) on very borrowed time. But in the end I always had to have good hair days and rarely a broken nail. No one needed to know the double stick tape, dry shampoo, extra large coffee, and baby wipes that I might have used behind the scenes to make a glamorous appearance from time to time.
I still made all the beds, but actually closer to bed time more often.
I now have outside help with the laundry.
But I still have zero help putting it away.
I began something incredible from the ground up.
Made a new name for myself, using my real name this time, the first time, with a hint of extra sugar and some secret spice that I’ll always be known for …
I made a lot of people proud of me— and now my greatest accomplishments AKA my children now understand why being each others reflections results in our greatest achievements of one another.
At almost 42 years old —I went back to school. The reverse of when I started…
I learned so much more this time around.
My time is even more precious and so is what I did with it.
And as the curtain closed one of my all time favorite fictional icons— just like the marvelous Mrs. Maisel— we get 4 minutes to change our own lives.
What I did with four minutes this year more than ever might have not only changed my own life…
I gained.
I lost.
Some of it was extra weight I didn’t know I was carrying and some of it will never come off.
Life got heavy at times.
I still don’t fully know who I am and I’m constantly plagued by that little line under occupation in my children’s school forms— it is a struggle when it’s never enough room to define myself… and why should I defined by one standard alone?
I also struggle with who I should put on my blue card for in case of emergency.
Finding myself, true friendships and the meaning of life or what is my plan while on this journey—are all a constant evolution— or maybe because I am, too, always in evolving.
It’s summer. And school’s out.
I forgot to keep my promise to write to myself more and stop just writing in my head— but I get stuck there sometimes until someone or something reminds me that my stories are my song. I just need to find the melody again and share my words.
Two days ago, on my half birthday, was that day.
I closed yet another chapter in my scrapbook of memories I didn’t know I was writing, recording or might have ever wrote again at the time it begun— but it might have been my best chapter yet— even though it was filled equal parts of all the feels, highs and lows, it was meant to be my story in so many ways.
A new, maybe brief chapter has begun.
It’s just unfolding…
It should come with the usually plot twist or two— maybe earlier than usual this time. But no good story is ever lacking one— especially mine…
TBC…