Watch what happens live…

sleep away camp EDITION!

Just about the time color war broke they broke the fourth wall. The one where they make you part of the magic —

watch what happens live— sleep away camp edition.

They went social media live and we got to be a secret spy on two of the most coveted traditions.

As someone who has only experienced this kind of camping as a mommy — I lived for it! I ate it up while I sort of ate my grilled chicken and arugula and paid very little attention to my OG that night at our infamous kitchen table.  This was much more delicious. It was suburban dinner theater on a Tuesday night.

Seeing my son at his finest and happiest in the most authentic, genuine sense of the word. And in some ways he would never be embarrassed by my spying behavior because it was encouraged.

And all the mommies were doing it…

I never thought much about getting to see your children through a two way lens. Two way mirrors always struck me as something out of an epic scene from an episode of Law & Order. Benson and Stabler. Not red vs. white, rope burn and sing.

As I watched through the looking glass both nights I thought about something my little one asked me mid summer one day after camp. He began our after camp conversation with telling me he isn’t into superheroes anymore. He’s too old for them. He’s six. But in his defense he was too old for them as soon as he inherited them at 3 and ½. Having a big brother he’s always a staircase ahead of himself. Which is amazing but sad. Like getting older is a have to do but growing up is optional. I learned this personally when I turned 40. It was harder to swallow than the glucose tolerance test when I was pregnant —twice.

Some of us will always be Peter Pan and others of us will be born a Wendy.

Some days I would  settle for tinkerbell .

Then just as we discussed him changing his room from superheroes to sports he asked me if I were a superhero what would my super power be? It was not an easy answer. Also I didn’t want to sound greedy, but why did I only get one?

They all have their benefits and limitations.

Sometimes I wish I could exchange them for another to fit the situation. That would make them even more super.

He was still waiting for my answer by the end of the week. Just at the time color war ended and the buses were going to pull in and our other half of our heart was going to return home.

I thought being a mommy already made me a superhero on the best of days and as you know when I say NO— very occasionally once in a blue moon maybe twice— I’m the best known villain in the land.

I think this week I learned that invisibility which used to be kryptonite and something I struggle with always feeling— was the best power I had.

I watched something that I normally would not get the opportunity to. It was amazing to see someone you love so happy, so excited, so into it. Living in the moment. Singing for his supper so to say with all the glory of the pending victory or defeat —it honestly didn’t matter. We were both swept away by the magic of the moment.

I felt the rush through my phone as I cradled it watching the night unfold.

His red hair, electrified through the dark crowd. He was mine and I was so proud.

We all did hard things this summer.

We all had our superpowerful memories and moments. Some of them were magnificent and others were not— but they were ours to own.

I know in my heart that soon my little one will want to join his big brother away at sleep away camp and I will learn to do the next hard thing and let him have his moment. He’s almost ready— even if I never fully am. .

I know we will all be ok because while they grow and try out their wings— I planted their roots.

Last night on the eve eve of the big return, the closing chapter on my fast but steadfast personal beach read. I wasn’t met with any wild plot twists. Either that or I am better at detecting them.

I went to dinner with a group of my friends. Girls I have all met through my son. His camp friends mommies. We came to the table after another seven weeks of our boys being together indefinitely. We really like each other. It’s so special to feel that. To sit around a round table and feel apart of something.

This morning as I sit with major anticipation for tomorrow’s big arrival, my little one and I discussed the super power conversation waiting for the bus. I told him that having a super power sounds amazing but I think I’m too old for it. I am ok with being regular and ordinary— it’s being a mommy to him and his brother that  is supernatural, extraordinary. I got struck by lightning— twice— and I’m the luckiest for it even on the days I can’t find my rainbow.

I don’t know if he understands the magnitude of being a mommy. Guess what he probably won’t— not until he is a parent himself— It’s superior to other things I have done and maybe will do in my lifetime. I felt their heart beats from the inside out. That was my supernova moment— twice.  

It’s in the end you start thinking about the beginning. And sometimes you find yourself wishing you can have one more middle so it never ends — but all good things come to an end. It’s not how you start but how you finish that defines the journey.

On our last day of the best summer camp of 2023 we learned of the superior news of our son was awarded coveted, honorable and prestigious award of “camper of the year”— so on that note I rest my case on needing a superpower— mine resides in my children…

The destination is far from clear but on this path and I know I will face another bend in the road — peaks and valleys. They both have their benefits and limitations.

They define us in the all the ways they should.

We are on the edge of September arriving for another 10 months of moments I have yet to discover. I look forward to this next chapter and what the story will tell…

TBC…